mosoli:

im still laughing at this

zeldabuddy:

travelingmadness:

proof-reads ask about 5,000 times before sending

proof-reads school essay about 0 times before sending

thecompanionsdoctor:

Whenever my friend says goodnight to me on Skype he sends me this gif

and I wanted to send it to him tonight so I went to Google “black man turning off lamp” but Google autofill changed it to “black man turning into jet” and I got this

Long story short it’s 1am and I’ve been laughing at this for approximately 20 years

docot:

that must have been quite the………………….. chase

vagisodium:

who deflated this dog

peregr1ne:

my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him

bondoge:

reinventingthekarmicwheel:

nightbagel:

vanillish:

Your crush gets to see themselves naked everyday

your crush can make out with themselves and its not considered cheating 

your crushed beneath a car. it’s hard to see and everything smells bad. you’re happy because you feel no pain as everything fades away

spadesslick:

pimposaur:

reasons not to kill yourself

• chicken tender
• the billionth number of pi is 9
• it’s not gay if it’s on the moon
• sponges feel cool
• highdeas.com
• joe biden
• the letter Q
• dirt

Some of these are legitimately calming.

internetfeet:

People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t

Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”

And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”